Sgt. Tex R. Cranley
Sgt. Tex R Cranley (full name: Sargent Texas Republican
Cranley) is Clayton's rival televangelist, if you could even call him
Cranley's "Sargent" title is misleading. It does not designate
a military rank. In fact, he added it as a prefix to his legal first name in a
poor attempt to get respect. Although Clayton agrees with many things
Sgt. Tex R. Cranley says, Clayton affirms that he is an imposter with
the sole mission to feed his own greed off those seeking to rid
themselves of demons. This disgusts Clayton.
Clayton says that Cranley got his own son, Chet Greenfield,
hooked on heroin at a young age. In an effort to restore Chet's damaged upbringing, Clayton went to Cranley's home (while he was
out on tour) and beat the demons out of Chet. It was no easy feat, but
Clayton was successful.
Shortly thereafter, Chet put down the needle and picked up a
video camera to help Clayton's efforts. Chet has said he owes his life
to Clayton, so it's the least he can do to help him with video
production tasks for Clayton's live shows.
Cranley claims it was just another tactic to "...take everything away from me. It's just like when he had the leading home video sales in the 1980s. Last time I checked, Clayton was the one who's the imposter. I mean, what kind of sick guy takes his competitor's son to work for him against his own will? Clayton's the imposter, without a doubt!"
Sgt. Tex Cranley claims he owns the Texas Roadhouse in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Although Clayton isn't sure if that statement is actually true, he still asks that you boycott this location.
Chet "The Carburetor" Greenfield
Born to Sgt. Texas R. Cranley, Chet Greenfield maintains and operates Clayton's video production equipment during live shows. As mentioned above, Chet feels indebted to Clayton for getting him off of heroin.
In addition to researching VCR maintenance and operating video equipment, Chet enjoys checking the mail, cooking and standing up to his dad's greedy tendencies.